Why Is Writing so Difficult for Me free essay sample

Why Is Writing So Difficult For Me Writing and English has always been my worst subject all throughout my school years. As we all know to be a good writer you have to use proper grammar and that right there is where my problem is when it comes to writing. I guess you can say it started from when I was growing up a kid. All the kids had to talk to my grandma in Spanish not English. If we talked to her in English we would get in trouble, so I did as the other kids did and that was talk Spanish. In elementary school they were teaching me English and when I say teaching me, I mean they were teaching me.I had speech and reading class to help me as well. In first grade they told my parents that I had to learn English and I could not speak Spanish. If I didnt learn it I was not going to be able to move to the second grade. Yes, you can say I had a lot to learn in so little time. I did what I had to do, I promised myself I was never going to talk Spanish ever again and I didn’t. By making that choice you can say my grandma was highly upset with me. I told her I had to do what I had to do. It’s a shame, something that was part of my culture and that I knew so well, was in a way taken away from me.I say that, because at that time I only knew Spanish and with them telling me I cannot speak it well I didn’t. I felt by me living in the United States, I had to speak English no matter what. It took a minute for me to learn it more than others but I was trying and as we know proper English makes your writing. You have to know where to put the periods, semi colons, and not use run on sentences, make sure your words have the proper Capitalization and etc. , just because it’s the proper thing to know. I know my English is not good. I know my writing is not good either.The way I write is the way I talk and as we all know my English is not the best. Going into high school we had it where if we did not miss any days in school we did not have to take the final. So yes you know I made sure I went to school every day just so I did not have to take the final exam. I mean would you pass up an easy A? I don’t think so! That’s exactly what I did; I didn’t pass up a golden opportunity. I guess looking back at it now I took the easy way out   which I knew was wrong,   I could   do bad in class and still come out with a passing grade just because I did not have to take the final.Well sad to say my English was not high school level. We had a class called Bilingual English. It was for people whose   English, was not at the level they are suppose to be at, so once again I took the easy way out. I feel that if I was in the high school English, I wouldve gotten the proper tools to learn English better. I didn’t and they werent as hard on you like a regular English class. It was just another easy way out for me not to learn. When it was time to do an essay I would pay someone to do it for me and put my name on it.Once again sad to say, I took the easy way out. Even though I passed and graduated from high school I always knew in the back of my mind I took the easy way out and I knew one day it would bite me in my butt,   like it is now. I don’t like writing because I don’t know the proper English for me to use it on my writing. When I get upset at someone I pick up a paper, pen and get to writing them on how I’m feeling. Some reason it never fails when I’m writing,  reading a book, or dealing with  anything English my mind get to wondering off.I don’t blame anyone but I because I had a chance to learn it and me always took the easy way out. By me taking the easy way out there is more to it that is holding me back from writing and I guess it had a lot to do with me growing up. Usually something that happened this traumatic will help a person be a better writer because they can express their feelings. I was the opposite way around, I tried one day writing a letter and the person laughed in my face not only did that make me feel low but what happened after that made me feel less than dirt.From that day on I put my head down, never to write anything. I kept it in my head and way deep inside my soul, so no one can ever laugh at me again. From that day on I never wrote an essay, a story, or a poem. In reality you can say this is my first time writing. I know I have plenty to learn and I hope that I have an understanding teacher that will be patient with me to teach me the proper way to write. I am always up for learning and I don’t have a problem in putting the effort to learn and do what I have to do. Like the saying says â€Å"it’s never too late. It’s never too late learning. All I need is patience and understanding from a teacher that can help me use the proper grammar to put into my writing. I know now that I can’t take the easy way out any more. Not only will I be cheating in class but I’ll be cheating myself out of the knowledge I am suppose to know and learn. Writing is something everybody needs to learn and know your writing is what you need to get through in life if it’s for a job, to help someone else, even to pass elementary, junior high, high school, and even college.I know one day I will understand the concept of writing and I hope by taking this class it will help me with the structure I need to help me on a everyday bases not just with college but also as I go into my field of Business Management. I will have to make presentations, proposals and maybe do some documentation. Writing is like a puzzle to me. Once I study hard enough and put the pieces together the puzzle will fit. I hope that I can get the proper knowledge and help so I can no longer be afraid of  writing.